|
Question: What is the difference
between men and puppies?
Answer: Puppies grow up.
Question: Why do men always have a stupid look on their
faces?
Answer: Because they are...
Question: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
Answer:
Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them
forever.
Question: If you drop a man and a brick out of
a plane, which one
would hit the ground first?
Answer: Who cares?????
Question: What did God say after
he created man?
Answer: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
Question: What's the
difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
Answer: I don't know, I've never seen either.
Question:
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
Answer: i) no mind ii) no business
Question:
Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
Answer:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions.
Question:
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Answer: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
Question:
What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles
they have no
intention of driving.
Question: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
Answer:
Exchange him!!
Question: Why do men like smart women?
Answer: Opposites attract.
|
|
When girls don't put out!!
This
was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.
Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
I never quite figured
out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week,
my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend
on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy
your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and
not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The
very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping
at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit
s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis
I
think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I
could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank
as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just
when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bi**h knows I'm smarter than her.
|
