i've just answered the door to a 6ft beetle who smacked me round the head and told me to f#ck off.apparently
there's a nasty bug going round !!!!

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether
or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,
a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor.
"A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A
normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

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